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BECOMING WHO I AM PART TWO


The solvent for ego is love. Love melts the boundaries of the separate self and reveals the true nature of self as soul. Soul is not something that we have: soul has us.

There is a time for silence and a time for words; a time for keeping a secret and a time for releasing secrets. When something unbelievable happens there is always a conflict which can arise as to whether to share it or not and who to share it with. It is unpleasant to be ridiculed for what we say but at least we don’t have to worry about being burnt at the stake these days. There was a time in which to share the secret which had been revealed to me might have cost me my life. I quickly realised that the worst that could happen to me was that I wouldn’t be believed. The first person I told accused me of talking bullshit. There was nothing more I could say so I said nothing.

The next person I mentioned it to clearly grasped the truth in my words. She was someone who had the same experience years earlier. When we compared notes we found that we were using the same phrases to describe the experience like “It was nothing like I imagined it would be.”, “It is our birth right.”, “It was as if a bubble had popped.” and “It was like a layer of Clingfilm had fallen from my body.”

But I have run too far ahead of myself. I need to wind back before I spring forward. I changed my name from Patrick to Patrick. It was meant as a joke in response to people changing their given names into exotic spiritual names. There is some validity to taking on a Sanskrit name if you are being initiated into a Buddhist or Hindu spiritual tradition or taking on an Arabic name if you become a Sufi. Each new Pope takes on a new name. And why not? It’s traditional. When two of my closest friends including my flat mate made an announcement that they were to be known by new Sanskrit names I thought… Well, I won’t tell you what I thought. It was quite rude.

So I said, “I’m changing my name from Patrick to Patrick.” It was my flatmate I was talking to. His new name was Muni which means saint or holy man in Sanskrit. Although he did like to think of himself in those terms he was neither. I would know. I shared a flat with him for almost seven years. You get to know someone in that amount of time. He wasn’t the opposite of a saint either. He had many good qualities. I learned a lot from him, including how not to do things. Some of our very best teachers are those who, by their own example, help us to see how not to do things. I’m sure I have also taught many people, by my own example, how not to do things. In recent years I have mastered the art of teaching myself how to not do things by making as many mistakes as I possibly can. It is good to get the middleman out of the way. I always try to make my own mistakes now. I’m self-sufficient in that respect.

The Muni thing didn’t last long. It helped that no one ever called him by that name. I certainly didn’t. Another mutual friend of Muni and I, the initiator of this name-changing craze, changed his name to Anaris. Anaris does not seem to mean anything in any known language. A Google search reveals this from a site called Lexicanum: “The sword Anaris is a special Eldar sword, said to have been the last (and mightiest) of the 100 swords that the Eldar God Vaul forged in his pact with Khaune. It is presumed that the Eldar god Khaine now holds this blade. Anaris is not to be confused with the Wailing Doom, which is the weapon of the Avatar of Khaine, not Khaine himself.” I have no idea what any of that means. Perhaps it is a fantasy novel or a computer game.

A day or two passed. Then one night, just as I slipped unto that space between waking and sleeping, a voice emerged from the silence: “Patrick”.

A woman’s voice, more beautiful than I have ever heard, it filled my heart. It wasn’t an imagined voice in my head; it was a voice which spoke my name in the very room I was lying in. By saying my name the speaker sanctified it. From that moment the name Patrick was not just my given name, it was my spiritual name. Yet it took 25 years for that to become clear to me.

“Patrick.”

She spoke my name again. There was no way I could dismiss it. It was the same beautiful voice filling my heart with love. It was perhaps a years since I had asked the question “How can I become who I truly am, how can I fulfil my birthright?” Becoming who I am and fulfilling my birthright seemed to be connected to the transition from Patrick to Patrick; that is, from a label which was attached to me soon after I was born indicating who I appeared to be and what distinguished me from others to an affirmation of a hidden identity which had remained concealed from everyone including me.

Words stumble and stagger in their attempts to explain this. It is a slippery truth which just cannot be adequately grasped by superficial words. When this invisible voice spoke my name from the silence something indefinable was included in those two syllables. Ordinarily our words are just fragmented and jagged utterances which cannot express holiness or wholeness. Our words reflect our fallen state. They are shattered remnants of a lost language of the soul. Since that time I have increasingly found that words, when spoken from that hidden holiness, our original completeness, carry with them the wholeness we are all searching for or seeking to express. Deep in our hearts we know the difference between superficial words which skate across the surface of reality and those words which emerge from the depths of our Being.

The words which emerge from the depths have power.

When the beautiful voice spoke my name I was empowered. But the true nature of that empowerment was not clear at that time. It took a number of years before the cloud of unknowing dispersed.

The naming of me by this mysterious voice was to direct me along a path toward an awakening I could not have imagined. In Part One of this story I talked about how a spontaneous question led me, with the help of astrology, to buying a computer. Everything about that horary chart spoke about a spiritual transformation through technology and communications. All of that would come true. However, there is more. Awakening was to be just a beginning. My birthright is a return to who I already am but also a promise of what I can become. The source from which we come resonates with our destiny. It determines the specific nature of that destiny. The arrow finds the target only when the aim is true. The moment of our birth is when we are released from the womb of possibilities. That moment determines the direction our lives will take and our target is who we truly are, arriving there is being who we are.


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      "Ama" by Faisal. 3:33.

Faisal comes from a Sufi background and he offered this beautiful singing as a gift from his heart.

THE EMPOWERMENTS - Ama means Mother. Shen means Eternal Presence. Amashen is the grace of the Mother of the Heart presented to us through empowerments which enable us to use Her blessings and allow Ama's presence to be known in the world. Each Amashen empowerment is accompanied by a technique which is given upon receiving the empowerment but the technique is not the empowerment. Each empowerment works through the whole of our being which includes all the circumstances we need to face. The empowerments can be given through the internet and involve a transference of power, known in Sanskrit as Shakti. This Shakti is the Eternal Presence of Ama, her power. Each empowerment may be accompanied by a crisis of transformation, a healing crisis. This is perfectly normal and is temporary. Counselling and support will be made available if requested.

 

When we begin to use the Amashen empowerments  something quite simple but profound begins to happen - knots and pockets of trapped energy buried deep within us begin to loosen up and are released into the light of our awareness. Once we become aware of these issues we need to continue to release them. By letting  them go we create the space which allows even deeper knots to be untied and more pockets of stagnant energy to free up.

 

This process begins from the moment of the first empowerment and continues as we continue our practice. Dealing with the effects of this process of the releasing of imprisoned energy is a challenge we have to meet. Quite often we believe that the issues which arise are caused by others. This is an illusion which we need to face with complete honesty.

 

Within our most authentic Being, there are no others. Viewed from that authenticity other people and the external environment are merely unrecognized aspects of ourselves calling for our attention and pleading for inclusion in our wholeness.

 

We will constantly feel magnetically drawn back into the old patterns in which we perceive ourselves as separate individuals in a world consisting of separate things and separate Beings. It is a powerful illusion in which humanity has been trapped for Millenia and is the ultimate cause of all our conflicts from the personal to the global.

 

Amashen is a system of simple but profound healing techniques. It can bring healing to any condition or situation. Its deepest and greatest effect is on the divisions within us and between ourselves and all other living Beings. Deeper than that, it heals the illusion of separation between ourselves and the ultimate Source of our Being. We identify that Source as Ama - the Divine Mother.

 

It is from our Divine Mother that our innermost authenticity, our original and ultimate Self is born.

 



AMASHEN ONE – LOVE. This is the foundation which all the subsequent empowerments depend on. It serves to open us up to the energy of Ama, it clears the mind of thoughts which might impede her grace, it protects us and helps us to heal ourselves and others. After a few weeks, if the recipient feels ready, the subsequent empowerments may be requested.

 

AMASHEN TWO – THE CHALICE. Here, with this empowerment, the means by which we can receive specific healing from Ama or offer healing to others for any conceivable issue – physical, emotional, psychological or circumstantial is revealed. This healing is unlimited by time and space. It can be offered or received for causes, events, issues, and circumstances in the past, for anything occurring in the present moment and for any situation which we may anticipate happening in the future. Distance is of no importance either. From the perspective of Ama, all things are eternally present. 


AMASHEN THREE – LIGHT UPON LIGHT. This empowerment takes us deeper into the causes beneath the issues we deal with in A2, touching on oppression, chaotic influences and injustices. It is particularly helpful in circumstances where unwelcome psychic attachments are present. It shields us from injustice and helps to make those attachments uncomfortable so that they need to disengage with us or with those we are healing.

AMASHEN FOUR – FORGIVENESS. Once an injustice or unwelcome attachment has been dealt with the next step required is forgiveness. This helps to release complex bonds involving blame and guilt. We cannot completely release ourselves and those we heal from the causes of disease and unhappiness until freedom from blame and guilt is established. 

AMASHEN FIVE – PEACE. When we are in conflict with others and within ourselves we may feel the need for peace. In order for peace to manifest in our lives, we must become aware of how conflict arises in our lives. This may take some time so we need to be patient while peace asserts itself.

AMASHEN SIX – WISDOM. There are two types of wisdom. The first comes from experience. The second comes in the form of grace and, in its appearance, seems almost miraculous. This wisdom can happen quite suddenly or it can gradually emerge from within and it can do both. This empowerment enables vision. Here we are shown what we need to see.

AMASHEN SEVEN – AMA. This empowerment is Ama's complete embrace. Here, we are ready to surrender more completely to Ama . Really, there is nothing for us to do, as individuals. Here it is Ama who decides what to do, how it is done and when to do it. Here, we become who we always were – the Eternal Presence. This empowerment is all about the acceptance of what is, embracing what is and loving what is. Through this acceptance, through this embracing and through this love we become Ama. Remember: Ama is, and always has been, who we are but here we begin to know this. 

 

 

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